Richard Venezky

It is with great sadness and honor that I announce the death of my father, Richard Lawrence Venezky, today, June 11th, 2004. My father was an amazing man who excelled in so many ways. He was a loving father, a caring husband, a loyal friend, a committed mentor, an inspiring teacher, an honored scholar, an avid collector, and a gifted gardener. He enriched our lives in so many ways and we will all miss him dearly. In the past few weeks I have thought about the pain of losing him and came to realize how fortunate I am to have had him in my life for so long. I realize that there will be many unanswered questions but that one of the gifts my father gave to me was the set of tools to learn on my own and the joy in doing so. I will always want to know exactly how I can best educate my children or how he made his garden grow but I will also take pleasure in knowing that he is proud of me as I go through this process of discovery. I will think of him every time I work in the garden, eat a vegetable, read a book, or learn a new skill. We love you Dad.

Much love,
Dina

We are requesting pictures and stories of Dad. These can be sent to me by email (or by mail) to be archived for the family, in particular, Benjamin and baby #2.

Information about the funeral below.

Benjamin points out a lemon on the tree that Dad and I planted when we first moved into our house in California. The tree has grown considerably since then.

Hi. It appears that I was a little optimistic about Dad getting out of the hospital in the near future. He’s in good spirits but has had and recovered from another fever. He is continuing to fight the lung issue and the doctors are working on reducing his cough. In the meantime, we are trying to limit his talking so he doesn’t cough too much. We greatly enjoy hearing fun stories about Dad that we can share with him and any entertaining movie suggestions (preferably of the “Bring it On” variety where concentration is not really required instead of anything that Dad might choose to see in a movie theater).

Thanks again and much love,
Dina

Info on Bring it On, in case you haven’t seen it.
Torrance Shipman (Kirsten Dunst) is an ideal high school girl: She’s captain of her school’s decorated cheerleading squad and has a perfect college boyfriend. But pressure mounts as Torrance attempts to lead her crew to its sixth consecutive national title. She’s determined to let nothing – not family, schoolwork, boyfriend or a talented inner-city squad with a score to settle – get in the way of winning. Starring Kirsten Dunst, Jesse Bradford, Nathan West, Eliza Dushku, and Gabrielle Union.

ps Congratulations to one of my best friend’s, Audra, who was married this weekend in Boston and has a birthday today!

Benjamin plays with chalk at GeoKids. The boots are for jumping in the mud pit the teachers make on occasion. Benjamin loves the mud…

Benjamin jumping at gymnastics. Not a great picture but he’s getting harder and harder to catch on film.

Hi -

As one of Dad’s doctors said the other day, “it looks like you dodged another bullet.” The radiation appears to be getting rid of the lymphoma. There is still concern about the fungus in Dad’s lungs but Dad may be released from the hospital in the next week or so. Dad is still coughing, due to difficulty swallowing, and it’s unclear why things are going into his airway but Mom says that he is looking better and feeling better.

We hope everyone has had a good spring and we look forward to a joyous summer.
Love,
Dina

Benjamin admires and then picks the first strawberry to grow in his garden. He hasn’t learned to use two hands to pick fruits and vegetables yet but we’re working on it.

Benjamin plays with the parachute at his friend’s birthday party.

Hi All -

The following is a message from one of Dad’s colleagues about
an award that the University of Delaware has created in Dad’s name.
Information about the award was first presented at the Festschrift
and we are all very excited about it.

Love,
Dina

ps I will be sending another update shortly.

Hi. I’ve been told that the Festschrift was a huge success and I can’t wait to see the video. Dad, unfortunately, was not able to attend. He had a fever of 104 on Friday and although it is back down, there are still concerns. I am assuming that he will be starting another round of anti-fungal drugs tomorrow and I will write again when I know more. Mom and Elie attended the dinner. Each of the participants stood up and talked about how they met Dad and the work they’ve done together. I was told that it was wonderful. There aren’t words to describe how lucky I feel and how much I appreciate hearing about it - thank you. Attached is the final slide of Roberta’s talk (I hope it was okay to distribute).

Thank you again and much love,
Dina

Hi. This weekend Dad’s colleagues are holding a Festschrift (see definition below) for him in Delaware. There are about 50 people flying in for a full day of presentations on Saturday. The plan is for him to leave the hospital to attend. We are all very excited and I wish I could be there!

Here’s to a great weekend.
Love,
Dina

Festschrift - A volume of learned articles or essays by colleagues and admirers, serving as a tribute to a scholar. ETYMOLOGY: German : Fest, festival; see fest + Schrift, writing (from Middle High German schrift, from Old High German scrift, from scr ban, to write, from Latin scr bere).

Here is the image of the logo used for the event. My cousin David painted it for my father a while ago and it hangs in his office at home.

Benjamin playing with his Thomas the Tank Engine trains on his new rug. His love of Thomas is really quite amazing.

I’m afraid that I don’t have good news. The chemotherapy to fight the lymphoma is not working and we are waiting to hear about alternative options. Dad is having some difficulty talking, due to the tumor in his throat, but is otherwise in good spirits. He spent part of today in the garden, which is beautiful as always (see the picture below of Dad and Benjamin from our visit two weeks ago). Benjamin is now helping in our garden and some of his strawberries are just starting to get ripe.

I will send another update once we have more information.

Thank you.
Love,
Dina

ps We had a great visit the other weekend to celebrate Benjamin and Dad’s birthdays. I’m now about 7 1/2 months pregnant and will not be flying back to the east coast until after the baby is born.

Dad, Mom, Stephen, Benjamin, and I watch the Andean Condors in the rain at the Brandywine Zoo.

Dad tells Benjamin about one of his herb gardens before we left to go to the airport.

Hi.

We’ve encountered a few complications and we’re waiting to see if the new treatments are going to work. Right now the doctor’s are trying to find a balance between the graft vs. host disease and the lymphoma treatments. Dad had the 2nd of four chemotherapy treatments for the lymphoma on Friday and we should know more in a few weeks. In the meantime, we are focusing lots of positive energy on Dad getting better.

Thank you again for your continuing support.
Much love,
Dina

ps Here are a few pictures from Benjamin and my trip to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory last Thursday (JPL is in Pasadena, CA and a friend of mine is one the current Mars mission team). It was a very exciting trip.

Benjamin tests the microphone as the Mission Manager.

Benjamin checks out a basalt similar to those found on Mars.

Hi Everyone.

Dad went back into the hospital today with another “inconvenience". He
has a tumor in his throat that has been diagnosed as a lymphoma (b
cell, I think). He is currently undergoing a large number of tests to
determine more information about the tumor, if there are others, etc.
Both Mom and Dad are in good spirits. We will know more soon both about
the tumor and the suggested treatment. I will send more information
when I receive it.

Please do not call the house or the hospital. It’s going to be a hectic
weekend and we need Mom and Dad to get as much sleep as possible.

Thank you for all your support.
Much love,
Dina

Benjamin starts painting after exploring the other activities on
Wednesday morning at GeoKids.

Benjamin decides to make hand prints after painting with a brush.

Hi Everyone -

Just a quick update to let you know that Dad is home from the hospital!! He is doing well, although it appears that he may have new sensitivities (stuffed nose and sore throat) so we are trying to get rid of all allergens from the house (perfume, flowers, scented laundry detergent, dustmites, mold, etc.).

We are all very excited by Dad’s rapid recovery and I am going to try to find a few times during the week for people to call when it is more likely that Dad is available. It’s still overwhelming for both Mom and Dad to receive multiple phone calls throughout the day.

I can’t end this update without mentioning how proud I am of both Mom and Dad for how they handle these inconveniences.

Thank you again for all your support.
Much love,
Dina

Here is Benjamin playing with his new stamps.

After a little practice, Benjamin starts putting the stamps on the ink pad.

He then puts the stamp on the paper.

Hi Everyone.

Up until yesterday it appeared that everything was going well and there wasn’t much to report. Dad seemed to be continuing his recovery, although a cold was making him tired. Then yesterday Dad passed out briefly and Mom brought him in to see the doctor. It was found that he had internal bleeding and he was admitted to the hospital yesterday evening. I was told that we would get more details this morning and at 7 AM Mom called to say that they might have to operate. I caught an 8:50 AM flight out (Benjamin was dressed at daycare and Stephen showered at his office before meeting with customers). The internal bleeding site was found while I was on the plane and cauterized. I’m now at the hospital and Dad is in good spirits. Elie is also here so we are all hanging out watching movies. It’s been several hours since the doctors have seen signs of the bleeding and once again you couldn’t tell that Dad had just had a horrible 24 hours. We are still waiting to hear more and I will send out information when we have it.

Please do not call the hospital or the house. Dad needs his rest and his throat is sore from the tests and lack of food/fluids.

Mom is also doing well and her walking has improved greatly (she was hit by a cab in NY during one of the cold spells and physical therapy is helping her to make a remarkable recovery from some muscle and nerve damage).

Much love and thanks,
Dina

Here is Benjamin at the zoo last weekend climbing on a bronze hippopotamus statue.

Hi and Happy Holidays (a bit late)! Stephen, Benjamin, and I visited Delaware over the holidays and can report that Dad looks great and continues to improve every day. His daily routine still involves medication (in IV and pill form) that takes a few hours of his time but he is also working, reading, taking short walks, and resting. Overall, he is doing really well and we are all very excited about it. Several of Dad’s doctors have recently commented on how impressed they are with Dad’s recovery (including the doctor who told us all how serious this is a few months ago). So we continue to think positive thoughts about Dad beating the pneumonia and regaining more and more of his strength. On a slightly less enthusiastic note, we did find out that Dad’s graft-vs-host is chronic. I don’t know the full details yet but we are so excited by Dad’s current progress that we are focusing all of our attention on the improvements for now.

We hope you had a great new year.
Much love,
Dina

ps On a sad note, our good family friend Peter Boettcher died of lung cancer on Dec. 31st. Stephen, Benjamin, and I went up to Northampton, MA for the funeral and we continue to send our best wishes to all of the Boettchers.

Here are a few pictures from our trip.

Benjamin running in Granny and Granddad’s yard in Kitchener, ON (Canada).

Dad and Mom heading out to run errands (Newark, DE).

Stephen and Benjamin check out the alphabet windows at Bergdorfs in NYC before going to say goodbye to FAO Schwartz and hello to the animals in the Central Park Zoo.

It looks like Dad is going to be coming home from the hospital this week!!

We are all very excited. His white blood cell count has climbed into the low range for a healthy male (it climbed from close to zero so it’s gone up a lot) and his other counts are holding (they’re low, but holding). Coming home from the hospital is a huge win in the battle but there are still many challenges left. Dad is still fighting the pneumonia and will continue to fight it for several months. Dad is also fighting some of the side effects of the drugs that are helping him fight the pneumonia. So the bottom line is that he’s doing great but will need to rest for the next few months. I think the first few weeks at home will be the most tiring as Dad readjusts to a slightly larger living space and access to real food (not that real food wasn’t brought to the hospital for Dad, just that the prix fix menu wasn’t highly recommended).

Here’s to Happy Holidays and continuing best wishes.
Thank you.
Love,
Dina

ps I am presenting at our big geology conference next week and still have a significant amount of work to do. I apologize in advance for not returning any email messages but I will forward them to Mom and Dad.

Benjamin gets ready for the Run to the Far Side (a race in Golden Gate Park the Sunday of Thanksgiving sponsored by the California Academy of Sciences and based on Gary Larson cartoons). It rained the morning of the race so I don’t have any good pictures from it (we were all soaked). Benjamin enjoyed seeing all the runners and loved the costumes.

Hi.

I’m not sure where to begin so I will try to be as succinct as I can. Dad is still in the hospital. His blood counts have been going up slowly and we are hopeful that they will continue to increase. A new concern is that Dad has pneumonia. The doctors did a biopsy on the day I flew in to Delaware and have found that it is a virulent strain in his lungs. I have been very impressed by the steps the doctors are taking to solve each challenge. The new medication is a 4+ hour IV drug that Dad seems to be tolerating well (it surprised his doctors). We are all very hopeful that the drugs will clear up his lungs but we’ve been told that it is a serious battle.

Dad looks great and takes walks around his floor during the day. The drugs make him tired and he needs lots of sleep to recover. If you would like to send something - cards, letters, or postcards would be great. He is on a restricted diet (no fresh fruits or vegetables, no peppercorns) and can not be near flowers or plants (more on food below pictures).

The most important thing for all of us to do is to stay positive - and Dad needs to be the most positive.

Thank you so much for your support.
Because of the pneumonia, it would be best for Dad not to receive phone calls (his doctors want him to take pain killers for his cough).

Thank you again.
Love,
Dina

ps I’ve switched the date in the subject line because it was confusing to some. Dad was diagnosed with AML and started his first round of chemotherapy on Oct. 11, 2002.

Benjamin and his lacrosse stick (after playing in the water with Stephen).

Benjamin in the big (rope) spider web at the SF Zoo.

More about food -
If you do send food (more for people in the area), we can not take food from Dad’s room out to the microwave or refrigerator so it would be easiest if it was in small containers. And, of course, please be super-careful about preparing the food (wash hands, don’t cook if you’re sick or anyone else in the house is sick, please don’t taste the food and put the spoon back in, etc.).

Hi.

It’s been a strange few weeks for all. Dad is back in the hospital and has been there for about a week. Dad has had two common manifestations of the GvH (graft-vs-host), the first is a rash and the second is uncharacteristic liver enzymes. It appears that both are currently under control, which is really good news. The main item that is being attended to is that Dad’s blood counts are still low.

As I mentioned in Update 31, GvH can take a long time to battle (6-12 months). I guess the strange part for all of us is how quickly these challenges appear. Dad sounded great the day he entered the hospital. The fever was a little annoying but it was down by the time he was checked into a room. It was unclear at that time how long he would need to stay and now it appears that it is going to be for a while.

Mom is bringing Dad his mail to the hospital and I will continue to forward email messages.
We thank you all for your continuing support and best wishes.
Thank you.
Love,
Dina

Benjamin (left) was a lacrosse player at a Halloween party the weekend of Oct 24th but he dropped his lacrosse stick, ball, and hat 5 minutes into the party. My plan was for him to be a frog (see below) but it was almost 100 degree F. Here he plays in the jumpolene with his friend Trey (there was also a big bouncy house that he enjoyed).

Benjamin’s frog costume from Halloween. I can’t remember what he was saying but it was funny. I also forgot to bring my camera to Trey’s house on Halloween but Ben was an adorable and energetic frog (Trey was a horse).

Hi. We just returned from Delaware and I apologize for not finding the time to send an update earlier. Dad is at home but has been diagnosed with graft-vs.-host (GvH) disease. This is both good and bad. The bad part is that it can be quite serious and Dad needs to rest, fight the GvH, and not get any infections, which would further complicate the healing process. The other bad part is that it can last for a long time (6-12 months). The good news is that most people who have had some GvH are free of leukemia once they have battled GvH. Our doctor was hoping that Dad would have some GvH last time so we’re a little excited about it (okay, maybe optimistic is a more appropriate word since we would prefer that there was some sort of magic that would make everything better right now). Dad is on steroids to help clear up some of the symptoms along with several other drug therapies. He is in good spirits, looks great, and enjoyed seeing Benjamin.

So what does that mean for all of us. Dad needs lots of time to rest and fight the GvH. It’s also VERY important for him to not have any visitors with infections. This is hard on everyone and especially hard for Dad who wants to return to his office, meetings, and other pursuits. It’s also hard to predict how long this is going to last and there is no doubt that Dad will be bored and want to talk with and see everyone, which means that we need to help him recover by letting him rest. Please also keep in mind that Mom needs to rest too. As you can see below (I apologize if you can’t see the pictures and we’ll try to post them on a website soon), Dad looks great. If you find yourself talking with Dad, please keep the conversation as short as possible. We don’t want Dad’s throat, or anything else, to get worse.

Thank you for your understanding and continued best wishes.
I will continue to forward email.
Here’s to fighting GvH!
Love,
Dina

ps Benjamin is 18 months old today.

Dad and Benjamin read an alphabet book.

Mom and Dad watch Benjamin climb out of the garden.

Hi.
On Wednesday afternoon Dad had a doctor’s appointment and was sent to the hospital when they found that he had a 102+ (F) fever. In addition to the fever, he also has a full body rash of unknown cause (both the fever and rash have been clearing up). Dad is in good spirits and will be released from the hospital once he is fever-free for 24 hours. The main focus right now is to get Dad’s blood counts back up. This means that he really needs to take it easy and let his body heal (not an easy task for many of us).

So here’s the hard part, we all need to give Dad’s body time to heal (I’m sounding more and more like some of my ‘California’ doctors). Dad loves hearing about what you are doing and I know that resting in the hospital, or at home, is not as enjoyable as the work he loves or good conversation with his friends and family. I am asking that we all give Dad (and Mom) the time needed to heal by not calling.

We really appreciate everyone’s good wishes, thoughts, and prayers. Please continue to focus your positive thoughts on Dad’s blood counts coming back up.

Thank you again.
Love,
Dina

ps I will continue to forward all email replies to Dad in a digest form.
pps Here are two pictures from last weekend. It feels like Benjamin is becoming more independent everyday.

Benjamin checks out the coral and fish at the Monterey aquarium.

A peaceful view from Pebble Beach.

Hi Everyone,

Last night Dad received a boost of stem cells and stem cell products from Aunt Diane. A decrease in the percentage of Diane’s cells in Dad’s blood was noticed in August and then confirmed in early September. At that time we were waiting for more information and options from Dad’s doctor. And at the same time the hard disk on my portable, with everyone’s email addresses, failed. So I apologize to everyone who has been asking for updates and we really appreciate your good wishes.

This boost was harder on me because I couldn’t be there. Instead, I spent the day watching weather reports on the web hoping that the courier would make it out of Philly to Chicago and then back to Philly before all the airports closed due to the hurricane (a friend works for a company that does modeling of natural disasters for insurance companies so I learned a lot about hurricanes). Mom managed to get out of NY at 4am yesterday so she was also tired by the time the boost started (around 11pm eastern ~ 6 hours after expected). Just because the day was more hectic than many of us would have wanted, didn’t make it any less of a miracle. We are extremely grateful to Diane and to our family and friends for their support.

So, now we wait and continue to think positive thoughts. This boost was a little different from the last one in that we are not starting from zero; Dad still has some of Diane’s cells from the previous transplant in January. And, instead of spending the night in the hospital, Mom and Dad drove home at 2am to find the neighborhood without power. Luckily they were ready with a flashlight in the car. I think Mom said that Dad went to work for a bit although Delaware is still in a state of emergency from the hurricane.

Thank you again for your best wishes.
Dad is going to need to rest for a while so it would be really helpful if communications were by mail. You can also email me and I will pass on messages in batches.

Much love and thanks,
Dina

ps I had to piece this list back together so please let me know if you would no longer like to receive the updates.
pps Benjamin is doing well. He loves animals, planes, trains, and trucks. His new favorite word is no and he uses it a lot.

Benjamin waters the kumquat

Benjamin participates in the horse brigade (earlier they were all pretending to be on a train)

From: Dina Venezky
Date: Thu Jul 24, 2003 22:43:39 US/Pacific

Hi –
It’s been 6 months since Dad received Diane’s stem cells and he is doing really well. He’s been working, gardening, and attending to a full social calendar in DE, NYC, and Sag Harbor (I think he makes his doctor tired just mentioning half of what he does). We’ve been told that Dad’s blood counts are where they are supposed to be (they have been going up and down a little) but it’s still a little confusing for me if that means that they will one day be higher or if this is his new blood count. Dad will be having another bone marrow test in September just to check on everything (the last large diagnostic test was lost at the lab…again). If asked during the transplant where we were all hoping to be in six months, I think we’d all agree that this is it.

Thank you again for your best wishes. I hope you are having a great summer.
Much love,
Dina

ps Benjamin continues to grow, run around, and now knows many animal noises (his favorite is woof, which he often pronounces as boof). Here are a few pictures.

Benjamin reads with his friend Olivia.

Benjamin helps create his new playground area by bringing the shovel back to the wood chip pile.

Hi. Just a quick email to let you know that everything is going well. Dad was released from the hospital in time for a wonderful Mother’s Day dinner at a Japanese restaurant. He then saw his doctor before the weekend and was told that his blood counts are all up.

Thanks again for all of your best wishes.
Much love,
Dina

Benjamin in his car seat.

Benjamin and his Dad watch Sesame Street

Hi. Dad is back in the hospital with a bacterial infection in his blood. The doctor’s have it under control and were not surprised but want to keep him around for a few days (they miss talking with him). Dad is being treated well and is working on a schedule for the next few days.

I’m sure this comes as a surprise to many of us. Dad really is doing well and we knew all along that he would most likely get fevers that would put him back in the hospital. We are all very happy that he is receiving such great care, we just wish the food was better.

As always, we appreciate your best wishes.
Much love,
Dina

Benjamin plays peek-a-boo with Dad on our visit to DE a few weeks ago.

Benjamin and JJ check out the animals.

Benjamin and the chalk (outside at GeoKids)

Happy Birthday Dad and Benjamin!!

Dad spent last weekend in Sag Harbor and everything continues to go well. There is not much more to report other than Dad had his first haircut in a long time and has been receiving lots of positive comments about it. We are going to be visiting next weekend and we can’t wait.

We hope you have a great week and Happy Holidays to everyone celebrating something this week/weekend.

Much love,
Dina

I hope everyone on aol who wants to see the pictures, continues to get the pictures. I heard there was difficulty last time. I also hope that everyone at UDel gets this message, the previous one bounced (the issue has been fixed).

Ben makes a quick call at the park.

Ben gets ready to go to the park. We bought him sunglasses hoping that he would destroy his and not mine.

Ben’s Birthday Party (we are in the center).

Ben’s with his birthday (carrot) cupcake.

Hi!

The results from the blood work came back… 98% of the cells are Diane’s! We are extremely excited by the high number and were expecting a lower number at best. (These are the results from the blood work that was taken at the same time as the bone marrow biopsy and were used because the biopsy was lost.)

We hope you are all having a great weekend.
Lots of love,
Dina

ps I’m not sure what the results mean other than they are much better than expected so I hope to have more information soon.
pps Here are a few pictures of Benjamin. He’s working on talking and likes to point at things and say “dat".

Benjamin loves silverware and will crawl into the dishwasher if given the opportunity.

Ben considers participating in a birthday party music class.

Ben eats cake at a classmate’s birthday party. He was even more active afterwards.

Hi all –
Dad had another doctor’s appointment today and found out that the bone marrow sample from the most recent biopsy was lost by the lab. Many of us had been thinking that this was the case because it seemed to be taking too long to get the results. The doctor is not going to do another bone marrow biopsy right away and instead is sending a blood sample (not as accurate but should tell us something). The good news is that Dad’s blood counts are going up and the doctor has decided that it’s time to go two weeks between appointments. We are all very excited about it and Mom and Dad are planning a nice celebration this weekend.

Thank you again for your support and best wishes. I spoke with Dad on the phone earlier today and he sounds great. It’s really incredible.
Much love,
Dina

ps Benjamin is now walking and moving things around the house. This morning my brush was in the kitchen and my comb was in the office. Below are a few pictures from Ben’s best friend’s birthday party last weekend.

playing with pasta

painting…

Hi,
We haven’t heard anything from the doctor yet but we are trying to wait patiently and will send information as soon as we have it. We’re continuing to think positive thoughts.
Much love,
Dina

Hi -
I’ve been meaning to write since the evening of my last update when I found out that Dad had another bone marrow biopsy. We should be getting the results sometime this week and it’s one of the more important test results since the transplant. My understanding is that the doctor will be able to tell if the new cells are Diane’s or not. Please join us in hoping that they are Diane’s. I will write again as soon as I know more.

Thank you again for your best wishes.
Here’s to the creation of lots of Diane’s white blood cells (in Dad and Diane)!
Much love,
Dina

Here is the picture taken less than a minute after the toilet paper one. Ben has dragged some of the toilet paper over towards the space heater and then dropped it as he became more interested in the heater (it’s not plugged in). I’m recovering from a bad cold (I blame daycare because the temperature here isn’t that cold) and will have new pictures soon.

Another quick update. Happy belated Valentine’s Day! Mom and Dad were snowed in this weekend and I’m not sure what it was like today but it looks cold. Dad is doing well and although the nurses were unable to visit yesterday due to the snow, he has an appointment with the doctor tomorrow. We hope you are all well.

Lots of love,
Dina

Action Ben at the park (he’s eating less sand and wood chips now).

Two bottom teeth and lots of drool.

Ben loves to unroll the toilet paper.

Just a quick update to let you know that Dad is doing really well. His blood cell counts have either started to go up or have stabilized. (I have to admit that I was shopping when I spoke with Dad today and I can’t remember - he did sound happy). The next big step will be on day 30 when the doctors will have a better idea if the new cells are Diane’s or Dad’s. We are all hoping they are Diane’s.

Since I last wrote, Mom and Dad have been on their first day trip down to the beach. They enjoyed themselves and are looking forward to their next “vacation".

Thank you again for all your support and best wishes.
Much love,
Dina

ps Ben started to stand on his own when I returned from Delaware. He’s not walking yet but it looks like he really wants to.

I’m not really sure how to start this update because the past few days have been so incredible. I wanted to insert lots of pictures but I don’t want to overload anyone’s email system so I will try to explain what I can and to attach a few photos at the end. I got to the house sometime before 9 pm on Thursday night and Dad looked incredible. Diane had already spent the day donating stem cells and was scheduled to put in another day starting at 7:45 am (on Friday). Mom and Dad were scheduled to check into the hospital at 8am and it was clear to me that taking a different car would work best for everyone. When I arrived at the hospital, a few hours after everyone else, Diane was almost halfway through her blood donation. She had an excellent support team and I was very excited to see my cousin Barbie and Uncle Jim who were reading Winnie the Pooh. By the time I got up to Dad’s room he had already been taken in for radiation. Much to my surprise, I heard him call my name in the hallway, as I went to heat up a Boca burger (veggie burgers that I am for some reason addicted to). I had expected him to be less chipper, or at least to look tired and in pain. He still looked great and was requesting food.

We had been told that the transplant would start around 3pm so we all sat around and talked until the stems cells were brought in (around 4pm). There was something almost anticlimactic about the delivery of the donation bag that was at the same time so much more emotional than any of us anticipated. To think that the cells that were going into Dad had been in Aunt Diane that morning and that those cells contained so much hope for so many of us. We all kept looking at the bag as if somehow words would come to us to describe our feelings. So we watched in awe as the doctors and nurses performed a mini stem cell transplant before our eyes. There was something about Dad sitting in a relaxing chair while we all talked that made the process look more like a family gathering than an innovative medical procedure.

After the bag was drained, we watched part of a movie and ate take-out. Dad’s vital signs were measured often and each time they were normal. I think we were all expecting a reaction. It’s been almost 24 hours since the transplant started and Dad is still doing well. We’ve been told that there is a long period of time for reactions to occur so for the moment I think we all have feelings of guarded optimism.

I really want to thank Diane and her support team for their help. There are no words to describe our gratitude. I also want to thank Dad’s other sister Carol for her continued support.

Thank you again for all of your good wishes.
Have a good weekend and Go Raiders (I really only care about the commercials but I’m trying to work on community spirit).
Love,
Dina

PS Benjamin can now walk behind a push toy. I’ll send pictures of him again in the next update.

Picture 1: Mom and Dad at the hospital this morning
Picture 2: Dad, Diane, and the donated cells (the red bag)
Picture 3: Dad and Diane discussing their youth during the transplant

Hi Everyone!

Dad is doing really well. The first set of drugs for the transplant (a new immunosuppressive) started on Friday. Dad will be receiving the immunosuppressive drug from Friday plus another immunosuppressive drug (chemotherapy) on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. On Friday
he will receive full body radiation and the transplant. We anticipate that he will be in the hospital for about 24 hours starting on Friday. Then he will come home. Although the time for the actual transplant is short, the transition period is much longer. I don’t really understand how long this period is but I think I remember hearing 9 months to a year (more on this in the next update).

I will be flying out on Thursday. We are all very optimistic and Dad is in excellent health. You might be wondering, what is excellent health? Well, Dad has gained back a healthy amount of weight, he is eating well, exercising, working, and reading. The bone marrow test showed no signs of the leukemic blast cells and he is now officially in remission! I’m assuming that your next question is something like, if he’s in remission then why does he need the transplant? Although Dad is in excellent health, the leukemia can return at any time. We feel very fortunate that all of the chemotherapy has gone so well but there are no guarantees for the future and the window for when the transplant is a viable option is not very large. So, it was a hard decision to make but Dad (and Mom) have chosen to do the transplant now. We are very supportive of the decision and very happy that we have this opportunity. The bottom line is that a transplant is the only chance for eliminating the leukemia completely.

We really appreciate your support and are looking forward to when Dad can travel again.

Much love,
Dina

ps Ben is keeping us busy by emptying bookshelves and drawers (see
below). I’d like to pretend that he is learning about gravity but I’m
afraid that the gravity experiments will be more destructive. He’s not
walking but he’s able to get into pretty much anything in the house by
crawling. For those who have asked, Ben turned 9 months on the 16th and
shares Dad’s birthday in April.

Hi and Happy New Year!

Dad continues to do well at home. He and Mom are taking walks together and enjoying themselves. His white cell counts and hemoglobin have remained high and he has some new boot cut jeans from the Gap.

The next step will be a mini transplant to completely get rid of the cancerous cells. Dad’s sister, Diane, is an ideal match and we are all very grateful (we are also grateful that Dad’s other sister, Carol, was happy to help out too). I don’t completely understand the process yet so I will write more when I have a better idea of what is going to happen. Dad will have another bone marrow test next Friday and the date for the transplant will be set after the tests have been analyzed. We think that it will probably be in mid to late January. Prior to the transplant, Dad will have more chemotherapy, full body radiation, and immunosuppressive drugs. Aunt Diane was out over the holidays to meet with Dad’s doctor and everyone is feeling very positive about the transplant. Diane will return to Delaware once the date for the transplant has been set.

In the meantime, Dad is working on gaining weight and drinking more fluids. He looks great and wants to be as strong as possible for thetransplant.

We hope you have had a very happy New Year.
Thank you again for all of your support.
Love,
Dina

Hi. We just returned from a few days visiting Stephen’s parents in Canada and I wanted to let everyone know that Dad is really doing well. I called the hospital from the airport on my way out (on Saturday, after writing that I would send another update when I had something to report) and someone else answered the phone. When I called Mom I found out that she and Dad had just gotten home! Then on Monday we found out that Dad’s white blood cell count was at 9.9 (normal is about 5-10).

We are all very happy and hoping that you are enjoying the holiday/New Year.
Thank you.
Much love,
Dina

Ben’s first snow.

Hi Everyone,

I am in Delaware and can report that Dad is doing really well and looks
great. He spends his free time reading, working, and walking around his
ward. We are all very excited about his progress and looking forward to
his next break from the hospital - probably in another two or three
weeks (late December). After a few weeks of recovery at home in January
we think that Dad will be coming back to the hospital for a
mini-transplant. I will talk more about the transplant once we know more
about it.

The difficult news for the past two weeks involves several deaths in the
family and the death of a close friend. Dad’s father died Thursday
night. He was a wonderful grandfather to all of us and we are very
saddened by the news. There was a memorial service held for Gramps in
Chicago today and my brother, Elie, was able to attend. We were very
fortunate to have a service at the hospital in Delaware as well and we
really want to thank Gene and everyone else who came and/or helped for
making today possible. Dad read a beautiful statement about Gramps,
which I’ve included below. I wasn’t able to keep from crying so I
couldn’t see Dad but he read beautifully. Dad was only able to stay in
the room for thirty minutes and had to wear a face mask and robe, which
made his presence even more special for all of us. Almost a week ago to
the day, Dad’s aunt (his mother’s sister) and one of his best friends
from Madison died. None of my immediate family was able to attend either
service but we were there in spirit. Although the mourning process is
just beginning, we feel that Dad’s health is looking very promising and
his positive attitude is contagious.

Below is a picture of Mom and Dad from Dad’s time at home prior to the
second round of chemotherapy. Mom and Dad now walk around the ward and
play card games at night. It’s very cute. Thank you again for all your
support. So far this round of chemotherapy has been much easier on Dad
and we are all very grateful. Keep thinking positive thoughts about his
white blood cells coming up.

Much love,
Dina

ps My talks and workshop went well and I’m really happy to be getting a
little more sleep. Ben is recovering from his third ear infection but is
very happy with his new ability to crawl. His favorite things include
electrical cords and the cat food. We are searching for interesting
replacements but haven’t had much luck, suggestions are appreciated.
Thank you Stephen (Ben’s dad) for taking off from work to watch Ben
during my conference, workshop, and visit to Delaware.

—

Dad’s reading from today.

To everything there is a season and a time for every
purpose under the heavens;
A time to live and a time to die.
So now it is Bernie’s time to go to an eternity of rest.
For us, the living, we have primarily our memories to recall him.
To me he was a wonderful father, generous and loving.
From as far back as I can remember he instilled the use of reason in me.
He confronted my mischief not with physical force or
anger, but with words.
His advice was sought by many of my friends.
From college through marriage, he was a constant correspondent,
Writing about the family and politics and asking about my work.
I have happy memories of fishing trips, of vacations,
and of long conversations with him.
Like all of us he had his faults, also,
But my primary memory is of a wise, loving, and generous father.
I loved him dearly and always will.
May he rest in peace.

—

Mom and Dad on a walk in November

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick message to say Happy Holidays and to let you know that Dad is doing well.

More when we have something to report.
Much love,
Dina

ps The days are off for updates 13 and 14.

Ben getting ready to travel…

Hi Everyone,
Dad had a difficult day on Friday to one of the chemotherapy drugs but the doctors responded very quickly to his needs and he was able to finish his second round. The difficult effects of the chemotherapy generally occur 7 to 14 days after it begins so Dad will be entering that range late Monday night. As of this morning he was still feeling pretty good. My new understanding of the chemotherapy is that the drugs kill off the good and bad cells and that it takes a long time (up to 30 days on average, longer for what Dad went through in the last round) to start creating new white blood cells again. It has also become very clear to us that you really need all your blood cells functioning to feel energetic. I know that this sounds simplistic and that we all understood it on some level before but it really is evident from seeing Dad with really low blood counts and with higher blood counts. Right now his white blood cell counts are still high enough for him to have some energy but the counts should be falling back down to almost zero in the next few days which means that Dad will be really tired and he will also be unable to fight infection on his own.

We are all very optimistic about this round of chemotherapy and we are very encouraged by how quickly the doctors reacted on Friday.

Thank you again for all of your support.
We really appreciate all of your good wishes.
Much love,
Dina

ps Now is a great time to send a card or letter or picture to Dad so it gets to him during the next difficult phase. We all love to hear how you are doing and we greatly appreciate your stories. It’s a good assumption that Dad will not be able to check email next week so please start sending things to him through the mail or to me by email (I print them and send them out).

pps This week and next week are a little bit more hectic for me so I apologize for not getting this email out yesterday. Our large geology conference started on Friday and I am giving a talk on the last day, Tuesday (this is the first time the conference has been over a weekend). On Wednesday I am helping run a workshop for three days where I will also be giving a talk and running sessions. The workshop ends on Friday and I will then fly back to DE to see Mom and Dad for a few days. Thank
you very much for your patience.

Hi Everyone,
This is a quick update to let you know that Dad is back in the hospital and doing well. After several hours of waiting on Monday he started the second round of chemotherapy around 9 or 10pm. His white blood cell count had gone up to the 6000’s and he was feeling more energetic.

Please continue to send your best wishes. We are all very appreciative of your continued support and we’re hoping that this round of chemotherapy is a lot easier on Dad.
Thank you very much!
Love,
Dina

ps Hand washing is incredibly important for protecting Dad from viruses and bacterias.
Even Ben is learning to wash his hands at daycare… (Ben is on a small stool and one of his teachers is helping him, the poster in the background gives instructions, in picture form, for washing hands)

Hi Everyone,

In our previous update I gave several hours when Dad could take phone calls. It turns out that he will be getting blood tomorrow morning so it would be better to call in the afternoon. If you receive this in time, you can also call tonight, Thursday from 7-9pm EST.

The times are now Thursday 7-9pm, Friday afternoon, and Sunday 1-2pm.

Thanks!!
Dina

ps Dad is doing really well at home.

Hi Everyone,

Dad is doing really well at home and we’ve had a great visit. He will be available to talk on the phone on Friday from 9am to 12pm and on Sunday from 1pm to 2pm, for those of you who have asked about calling. He still needs a lot of rest and can’t be around people who have colds (or more than a visitor or two each day) but his recovery has been amazing. At his appointment today his white blood cell count was at 5,200 (that’s 5000 more than at Day 36, Update 9)!

Thank you again for everything and have a great Thanksgiving (for everyone who celebrates it)!

Much love,
Dina

ps I haven’t had a chance to read most of the messages from Update 10 but I hope to get to them this week. I apologize if you have made any requests that I haven’t been able to read yet.

Dad and Ben watch a football game together.

It’s been a very difficult and joyous couple of days. After my previous
email, Dad’s white blood cell count continued to climb. First back to
300, then 500, 600, 700, 1400, and this morning 1700. You can imagine
the joy as Dad continues to feel better.

Mom, Dad, and I were watching a video tape of Benjamin yesterday morning
when the doctor came in to let us know that Dad should have his physical
therapy rescheduled so we could all talk. I’m not sure that any of us
knew what to expect but I can tell you that we didn’t expect the good
news part, which was quite good (the bad news part is difficult but we
are being positive about it). The good news is that Dad is going to be
released to come home on Thursday (today). The more difficult news is
that he will be returning to the hospital around December 1st for
another round of chemotherapy. Yes, you did just read correctly, Dad is
coming home. Many people have used a rollercoaster as an analogy for the
recovery process and said that we’re in a good part right now (for those
of you who, like me, have difficulty imagining a good part of an
amusement park ride, the park’s closed for the week). Dad’s amazing.

The plan is for Dad to come home and get as strong as he can before the
next round of chemotherapy. We will have nurses coming to the house to
help out and he will be going back to the hospital every other day for
transfusions. It is incredibly important that Dad continues to rest and
we are working to get the house ready. Although he now has more white
blood cells, if he gets sick he has to go back to the hospital. As I’m
sure you can imagine, he really wants to be home for the full 10 days.

While at home you can expect Dad to be eating, resting, and taking short
walks. He is not supposed to go out so don’t expect to see him at the
office, even though he really wants to be there, or at a restaurant,
grocery store, party, etc. We still have to be careful about the foods
he eats and any contact he has with people - no more than two visitors
to the house a day and no one who has any cold symptoms (runny nose,
sore throat, etc.). Benjamin and Stephen are flying in tomorrow and I
have a feeling that Dad is looking forward to spending some time with
his grandson.

Thank you again for all the wonderful support you have provided. I know
that Dad wants to talk with everyone but he really needs to rest. I will
try to set up a few times for Dad to take calls next week and will let
you know about it soon. I apologize for not sharing this news
immediately. Last night, when I wrote most of this email, I was torn
between cleaning (scrubbing), writing, and sleeping.

Lots of love and thank you VERY much,
Dina

Additional information: Dad’s bone marrow tests show about 20% cancerous
cells, less than 5% is called remission, anything above that is
dangerous. So we look forward to several wonderful days at home before
Dad returns to boot camp. We are all hoping that hell week(s) won’t be
as bad this time.

I was really hoping not to have to write this message but something told me that Monday’s news was premature. Today we found out that there are cancerous cells left in Dad’s bone marrow. I know that you are all as unhappy and as confused as I am (I’ve learned that there is nothing to gain from being mad). My understanding was that the tests were done. I even held off on writing until after the doctor spoke with Mom and Dad on Wednesday but I now understand that a more detailed test just came back this morning.

The plan is to do another bone marrow test on Monday to see if there is any change. There is also talk of doing a colonoscopy on Monday to try to determine what is causing the bleeding. Dad’s white blood cell count is still not coming up and we really need it to. One of the reasons may be an antibiotic that was being used to suppress the fevers.

So… We all need to stay extremely positive. Mom and Dad really appreciate all the letters, cards, pictures, etc so please keep sending them. I know that it’s really hard not to call but at this point it’s just so important that Dad rests that I have to ask for no phone calls. The best means of communication is mail to the house in Delaware, followed by email to me. I will be flying back out soon and I will continue to send as much information as I can.

Thank you again for your best wishes.
Lots of love,
Dina

Here’s Ben thinking positive thoughts for everyone.

Mom just heard from a nurse that there was no sign of the cancer in Dad’s bone marrow test!

We are allowing ourselves to celebrate for the day. The doctor will be in tomorrow to talk with Mom and Dad about it. I hope to have more news in a couple of days. My understanding is that Dad is now able to have some thicker liquids. He was eating more before the latest series of fevers and has since been on some clear liquids during the day and an IV at night. On Sunday Dad’s white blood cell count went up from 200 to 300. This morning there was no improvement so they went ahead with the bone marrow test. I heard that Dad didn’t flinch and Mom watched the whole thing. They are both incredibly strong.

I can imagine that our reactions are all similar in that we want to call Mom and Dad to say congratulations. Please continue to hold off on doing so - cards and letters are still the best form of communication. Dad really appreciates them. I know that it’s hard because it’s really hard for me too. I really want to talk with my Dad but I know that he loves us very much and that he knows we want to talk with him. The most important thing for Dad to do is to rest and try to regain his strength.

Thank you SO much for all your good wishes and positive thoughts. I believe that my Dad’s positive thoughts in combination with your help brought us this amazing news this morning.

Here’s to a very happy day.
Love,
Dina

Hi Everyone,
I’ve received news today that warranted another update. It’s been several weeks since Dad started chemotherapy and we are at the point where Dad’s white blood cells should be coming back if everything was effective. From what I understand, Dad’s bone marrow will be tested again on Monday if his white blood cell count hasn’t increased.

So we are asking you to think really happy and positive thoughts about Dad creating white blood cells. We found out this week that all of the fevers were preventing the generation of new white blood cells so we are very happy that Dad has been fever-free for a few days.

I also had the chance to hear a little more about all the cards, letters, pictures, and fun gifts Dad’s been receiving. They are VERY appreciated and VERY helpful. Mom and Dad spend time every day going through the mail. They bring great joy and we can’t thank you enough.

Here’s to lots of new white bloods cells.
Thank you.
Dina

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know that Mom won her election! Dad still has good days and more difficult days but he has a great attitude. Not much has changed since I last wrote. We are hoping that the new antibiotics keep Dad’s fevers down so he can continue to recuperate. Rest remains a primary focus but I’ve heard that he’s also been working a bit.

As always, we appreciate your good wishes, cards, letters, pictures, etc.
Thank you again.
Love,
Dina

Ben reaches for an unsuspecting cat. He usually doesn’t wear two different shades of blue… and, in case the scale is surprising, the cat is actually quite large.

Hi Everyone,
Dad is fighting another series of fevers but is in good spirits and working on healing. We are all very positive about his progress and realize that the road to recovery will have lots of ups and downs.

Here are a few of the ups and downs since I last wrote. On Wednesday night the doctors had reason to believe that Dad had some internal bleeding. He was also starting to retain fluid again so he received platelets and more of the medicines to help flush his system. On Friday he was able to continue with physical therapy. At some point in the past few days, Dad was able to get out of bed and walk around a bit. Today, however, he is fighting another fever and trying to rest.

Resting continues to be one of the most important things Dad needs to do. We continue to request that you do not call the hospital and instead send cards, letters, or pictures. I am not sure what Dad’s schedule is for checking email but I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t log in when he has a fever.

Thank you again for your positive thoughts and best wishes.
Love,
Dina

FYI: Dad was dressed as a hospital patient for Halloween (I’m not sure he’s going to want to repeat this outfit in the future). Mom and Dad handed out candy to two kids visiting their families - an adorable little girl was dressed as a cow.

ps We are also sending our best wishes to Mom who is running for re-election on Tuesday.

pps I’ve hidden everyone’s name on the email list. Please let me know if you no longer want to receive the updates, if want to add someone to the list, or if you want to check if someone is receiving these emails.

Ben lets the fish know he’s in charge (2 Nov 02).

Hi Everyone,
The past few days can only be described as amazing. Dad has come a long way since last week. It’s difficult to put into words how Mom and I felt walking into his room today. He was sitting in a chair drinking out of a straw. He had already been through his first round of physical therapy (in his room) and is scheduled to go down to the physical therapy room tomorrow morning. One of the doctors even came in to let us know that Dad could start to eat solids again (I think it means thicker soups and applesauce)!

Yesterday we saw Dad sit in a chair for the first time in days after having his NG (nasal gastric?) tube removed. Today they started to remove more of the tubes, bags, fluids, etc. His room began to look a reasonable size again as each piece of large equipment was wheeled out. When I left they were getting ready to remove two more rather large machines, which will make it much easier to get to the CD player.

We even heard the first comment about Dad being able to come home for a bit before the next round of chemotherapy. I don’t completely understand the next round but will get more information as we get closer to it. The plan is for him to rest for the next two to three weeks in the hospital. The rest part is very important because now that Dad is feeling better he’s aware that he’s tired but he’s got lots of people talking to him. I definitely don’t mean to imply that he doesn’t want to hear from anyone but I did witness a really nice nurse’s aide ask a few too many questions while Dad wanted to nap. And since no one else in our family talks too much… this shouldn’t be an issue for the rest of us (for those of you who don’t know me very well, I’ve been described as a talker). So the amazing news is that Dad is doing much better but it would be great if we all continue to hold off on calling until he can catch up on his sleep. Try to imagine 20+ days of sleeping in a hospital bed with nurses coming in to check on you every few hours. Unfortunately, that was the easy part…

So once again we want to thank everyone for all the good wishes, letters, cards, pictures, food, and gifts. Please accept this email as a thank you note. I had the opportunity to read some of the cards to Dad this past week and I’m smiling just thinking of the joy each one brings. I wish that I had the time to write back to everyone and to thank you all individually. In addition, I am reading everything you send back to me, even if I don’t reply.

Thank you again.
Please let me know if there is anyone I’ve missed on the email list.
We love you,
Dina

—-
Where we are now…
Dad still has the catheter in his chest and a very low blood count making it really important that he doesn’t get cut or bruised. He is starting to eat again but needs to take things slowly. In addition to the previous restrictions, no heavy spices, creams, or anything that could upset his stomach. Ideally, everything should be made in a sterile environment.

I am on my way back to California and will write again soon.
For anyone who is interested, Dad will be giving out peanut butter cups on Halloween. I’m not sure what he is going to dress up as but I’m thinking hospital patient is the current fallback.

I’ll include a picture of Ben in the next update - he had a good weekend with his Dad and somehow outgrew his bouncy seat.

Hi Everyone,

It’s been a tough week but things are looking up. Before I begin I want
to apologize to anyone who hasn’t heard the news, I will forward the
first two updates to you when I get back to California. I also want to
mention that the medical information that I am including may not always
be exact, for instance in the first update I thought the chemo ran for
14 days straight when it was really only 7 and then 7 to rest. In
addition, my father does not proof read these before I send them so
please excuse any spelling/grammar errors. I’m happy to have my
allowance docked for any errors when this is all over.

When I last wrote Dad’s fever had decreased from 104 to about 101 and we
were all hoping it would continue to come down. Well…the fever did
finally come down but in the process other issues became more critical.
Dad refers to the past week as living in a David Lynch hell. As we
begin to piece together what he was going through (the hallucinations
were very real) we all agree and are thrilled to have him back.

Dad was having difficulty breathing and the doctors were having
difficulty figuring out why. Dad was also having difficulty with his
stomach. The doctors have been working very hard to fight what they now
believe to be a heart and a fluid problem. The heart issue involves a
valve that is leaking such that Dad’s lungs are filled with fluid. The
fluid problem, from what I understand, is that Dad’s system was unable
to get rid of all the fluid that was being pumped into his body. So he
is on several different medications to alleviate these issues.

I can’t describe how much better Dad is today than a few days ago. Elie
and I went back to Delaware on Friday after we were told that Dad might
have to go on a respirator. Luckily, the medications he is on have
helped significantly such that he is now only wearing a small oxygen
tube (the cute one everyone uses on television to show that someone is
in the hospital) that is set to a very low level of oxygen. Friday
morning he wore an oxygen mask that pushed 100% oxygen into his lungs -
I forget the pressure. By Friday evening he was down to 50% and
yesterday they started to remove the pressure component for brief
periods of time. Dad still has a tube that runs down his nose and into
his stomach to alleviate pressure, making it hard to talk. Once the
tube comes out we hope that he will be able to start eating again (he is
getting food intravenously but I think even the hospital food is
beginning to look appetizing).

I will be sending more frequent updates so please let me know if you
would like to be taken off the list. The updates are meant to help my
Mom and Dad give out information to the people they care about and to
alleviate the phone calls to the house. (I’m sorry if there is someone
I’ve missed, it doesn’t mean that Mom and Dad don’t care.) Please do
not call the hospital. It is going to be a long road and we need the
nurses to concentrate on Dad.

Dad says thank you to everyone. He really appreciates the cards and
gifts but he wants to make sure that everyone isn’t spending too much
time worrying about him. We all love to read the letters and we bring
new mail to the hospital everyday. Mom has been doing an amazing job. At
this point we are really excited with Dad’s progress and are hoping to
see the growth of white blood cells in the next week or two.

Again, thank you SO much for your best wishes.
Love,
Dina

—-

Brief summary: Dad has acute myelogenous leukemia and received 7 days of
chemotherapy starting on Oct 11th. His immune system has been basically
wiped out and we are waiting for it to return. As such it is very
important that we don’t bring any illnesses to the hospital. When Dad
starts to eat again, he can not have any fresh fruits, fresh vegetables,
or peppercorns (ground pepper). We all wash our hands every time we
enter Dad’s room or when we touch our faces. Thank you.

—-

I’ve attached a small, recent photo of Ben.

From: Dina Venezky
Date: Tue Oct 22, 2002 08:37:37 US/Pacific
Subject: Update 2 - Day 12

Hi Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know how Dad is doing but before I talk about what’s going on now I’d like to mention my conversation on Friday. When I called Friday morning Dad was having students drop papers off at the hospital. He had had a 2 hour phone meeting with someone he convinced to work on a new grant (a large grant for adult literacy). He sounded amazing. The first round of chemotherapy was ending and he was going to have a full week to recover.

On Friday afternoon the effects of the chemo became harder to deal with. Dad ran a fever of 104 all weekend. When I spoke with the nurse yesterday the fever was down to about 101-102 and they were trying to find the source of the infection. Mom and Elie were with him all weekend and Mom continues to be there. We are all hoping that the fever continues to decrease and that the chemo was completely effective. This Friday, the doctors will test Dad’s bone marrow again to see if the chemo was effective. If the chemo didn’t do what it needed to do (I’m not sure about the specifics so we’re waiting to hear what they find), he will receive another round of chemo right away.

It’s hard to imagine Dad in the hospital and the whole experience continues to be a shock. If you have a chance, please send a card/letter/picture to the house in Delaware. Dad can not talk on the phone right now and but I truly believe that hearing from everyone helps. I think hearing stories and taking his mind off of what he’s going through is helpful. Someone brought him a coloring book and he was having people color pages for him (last week) when they came to visit. He was also coloring. If you have time, it would be great to add to his collection or send other similar activities. We are also trying to find things for him to eat (he hasn’t had much to eat since the fever). Of course, the best thing right now is to just think positive thoughts.

We love you and thank you VERY much for your support.
Take care,
Dina

Recap of food restrictions, in case you’re interested.
No fresh fruit or vegetables (everything needs to be cooked)
No peppercorns (they contain spores…)
Here’s the hard one for me…No tasting the food while cooking without washing the spoon (I like to pretend that when I make cookies I don’t eat a lot of the batter but the reality is that I do)

Hi.
I thought I’d send an update on Dad and apologize if this is the first time you have heard the news. Dad is in day four of chemotherapy and doing well. He says that he is being saved from the hospital food by Karen (Mom) and a few others. We have been told that next week will mostly likely be more difficult as the drugs build up in his system. We are all taking it one day at a time and we are very happy with the doctor.

The first round of chemotherapy is scheduled to run continuously for 14 days at which point they will test Dad’s bone marrow to see if everything (the leukemia blast cells and developing blood cells) has been destroyed. Because Dad’s blood count is low and will be much lower, it is essential that he stays as healthy as possible. Below are a few of the guidelines Dad now has to follow.

Food:
No fresh vegetables or fruit (all fruits and vegetables must be cooked)
No peppercorns (there are spores in pepper so no cooking with this spice)
No fast food (not really the same problem for Dad as the others)

Visitors:
No visitors with any illnesses
No babies (dad did get to wear a mask to see Ben last week before the chemo)
No fresh flowers in his room
No plants

Because of the treatment Dad is receiving, having visitors isn’t a good idea at this time. Dad needs to focus on helping his body heal and would not be able to fight off the minor bugs (bacteria, viruses, whatever..) that we all carry and fight without any problems.

Here are a few things we can do for him.
1. Stay positive!! It’s really important for us all to stay as positive as possible (but it’s still Dad so I’m not sure that we want to start making up any cheerleading routines just yet).
2. Do not ask how Dad is feeling. Instead, try to ask “How was your day?” (it’s hard but we don’t want to call and make Dad focus on anything that isn’t positive even if it’s just for a few seconds). Oh, if you call, you may need to let the phone ring for a long time. There are lots of nurses in and out of his room and he can’t answer the phone when his blood pressure is being taken.
3. Send cards, letters, pictures, stories, or anything that you think would cheer him up (to the house in DE - mom will bring stuff over). These will become more important as the weeks progress.
4. Continue to enjoy yourselves. Do something fun. Let us know about it.

Feel free to email me questions about Dad’s treatment, I would like to free up my Mom as much as possible. I almost went insane over the number of phone calls she was receiving at home so please don’t be surprised if phone calls are not returned.

We thank you SO much for your support and know that this is shocking and hard on everyone. I will continue to send these messages as I receive news - please let me know if you do not want to receive them or if there is anyone else I should be sending them to. I appear to have lost a lot of email addresses when I switched computers.
We love you,
Dina

ps The leukemia was diagnosed on Wednesday morning and the type/subtype was known by Friday morning, right before starting chemotherapy. Dad has AML (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia), subtype M1 (Myeloblastic, without maturation) - the type and subtype are both very common.

Ben and Mom in the cafeteria 10Oct02